So we finally went for our Marriage prep course and we chose Art of Marriage! It was an express day course (9am to 5pm). It was pretty insightful and straight to the point, mainly bcos its a one day course. So the main motto of this course is to build a family with ‘Sakinah, Mawaddah dan Warohmah’ which gives the meaning of tenang (calamity), kasih sayang (affection) and belas kasihan (mercy). So initially we were asked Why do you join this course, Why do you want to get married and What happens next? The speaker was fun and informative and he knows what he is talking about. i.e. giving examples whenever necessary. We drew a mind map of our family Qibla (what we visualise ourselves to be doing or have) in 10 years time. So A went on searching for pictures for our map while I started drawing (not an artist) our different Qiblas. I love this part cos it is the first time we worked together as a team (in class) and I find that we are both very goal oriented. Hahahah! The speaker then talked about the main pillars of our family and what it should be filled with.
Personality. Then we went on to find out about our personality through shapes. Of course being a Psych graduate I knew there are more tests and factors that can attribute to finding your personality. But hey, this would do. Haha so A chose the triangle which symbolises Power (sooo him) and I chose a circle which symbolises Peace (sooo me).
What is your love language? So we did a quiz which showed our love language. So A’s top 2 love language is Physical touch and Acts of service. LOL! So it’s not only by intimacy but also by hugs, holding hands, massages etc. Which of cos he’s not getting any now. Hahaha. Told him that he have to wait another 5 months for all these to happen. In the meantime, there is always Acts of service, ie, keeping promises, helping him out in any way that I can etc. Hehe. So my top 2 love language is Quality time and Acts of service. Quality time like spending time together, talking about our daily lives, picnic, visit museums, do activities together. Haha, which I truly like and enjoy doing! So lucky that both of our 2nd top love languages are the same – Acts of service. So I guess we both appreciate it when the other helps out whenever it is necessary or unnecessary. 😀
Case study. We had to do a discussion based on a case study and I’m so lucky that the couple in front of us is so friendly and laid back. We even went to pray zuhur as a couple together. Hahaha. But sadly, I didn’t even get her contact to stay in touch.. =/
Soooo, after the lunch break (lunch was provided and there were 2 tea breaks), we go on to talk about the ‘first night’. But before that the speaker, made us stand and do some stretches and we had to massage the person in front and back etc. Hahaha, that was pretty kecoh. So the speaker went on to explain how man and woman are different when it comes to making love. What is usually in a woman’s brain what is mainly in man’s etc.
Family. The speaker talked about building a family, the expenses etc. Wowwwwww, one BTB shared that a hospital stay after giving birth naturally can go up to 7k. I went gasping throughout the discussion. Zomg…. :O
Finances. The speaker shared that it is advisable to put 10% of our salary in our savings, 20% into our liability expenses and the last 70% is into our daily expenditure needs. So we played a game where A became the banker for us and the couple in front of us. Speaker gave us 30 days of things that we may need to spend on after getting married. I personally like this activity as it shows a gist of whether we will tend to spend on unnecessary things or not. I feel that A and I are on the safe side cos we tend to think thrice before we spend on anything.. Just hope that when it happens in reality, we will be able to stick to our values. Hahahaha.
Peace. So we had to list down 5 people that we love and we had to strike them off one by one. The last one standing shows who you values the most. Some had their mum/dad as the last one standing and some had their partners (A is one of them. I didn’t even cross out anyone cos I couldn’t bear to do so). Of course, there isn’t any concrete right or wrongs but following the Sunnah, after marriage, Syurga dibawah telapak kaki suami is the reason for most couples to choose their partners. That being said, it doesn’t mean that we can forget about our parents or in-laws. Important to take note*.
We were given a link to read up on the Islamic parts of the course (consists of videos and notes). So within this 5 months, we will have to find time to read up on it at our leisure. Cos I think it is important to know what we can do and what we cannot do esp Religion wise. As what the speaker said, knowledge is important. Never stop learning together. 🙂
So basically my take home message after the course is to have a lot of acceptance (Redha), patience (Sabr) and mercy (Kasih sayang). ❤ I do recommend this course for couples who wants a one day course as it is straight to the point and it doesn’t provide dry knowledge. Just that you have to find time to read up on the online courses which are important for Religion knowledge.
Till the next time! 🙂